What “The In-Group” did next…

‘The In-Group” (a band from the 70s), had survived its first cruise on the South Pacific aboard SS ‘Orcades’ and we returned broke, sunburnt but deliriously happy to be back to Sydney. No money but lots of memories, tourist trinkets and plenty of duty free fags, whisky and whatnots.

My father came down from the mountains to pick me up at the International Terminal in his ute; together with my then-girlfriend Margaret. There was a bit of a hold-up getting back through customs, as they checked off my musical gear with what I had disclosed on my declaration before I left the country. Evidently, any new musical equipment purchased overseas was subject to a heavy duty. It was quite common for casual musicians to try and sneak new gear back into the country they had bought overseas at a fraction of the cost in Australia. Indeed, I had heard of another drummer who had bought a brand new kit (still boxed) in Suva. Back on board he then distributed the various pieces amongst his colleagues for when they got back. I never heard if he had been successful or not. It’s all a game really.

Anyway, in between kisses, on the way home I regaled Margaret and my Dad with my adventures on the high seas. Much to my embarrassment, they both laughed when I told them about being sick at the dinner table. But the duty free ciggies and grog was much appreciated by my old man, and my mother and girlfriend appeared to enjoy the little trinkets that I brought back. I fell asleep for a while on my parent’s couch. When I awoke, I felt like I was back on the undulating ship; I raced for the toilet and threw up copiously.

Meanwhile, John who was the bandleader and sax player, buoyed by our success had obtained a residency for the band at Windsor RSL. So we began playing there a couple of times a week. For awhile all went well, but the brothers (Steve – guitar, Dave – Bass) were having withdrawal symptoms because of a lack of good ol’ rock ‘n’ roll; whereas John was still insistent about playing the more ‘naff’ tunes on the radio at the time. The brothers approached me about playing a ‘one-off’ rock gig as a trio midweek, to which I readily agreed. Trouble was, John and his wife Merrin (who was our singer) got wind of our clandestine activities. Accusations of disloyalty were flung about; an ugly scene ensued and the brothers gave notice. I tried to remain neutral, but as a consequence, we were obliged to let the residency wane like the full moon over the Pacific.

A short time later, John managed to secure another cruise with P&O, this time on the more prestigious SS Oriana. Bear in mind that effectively, ‘The In Group” had disbanded. Despite that ‘mere technicality’, John immediately went out and purchased a massive B3 Hammond organ and a huge Leslie Speaker Box. Although he knew only a few chords on piano, John threw himself into fevered practise and rehearsal. He obtained the services of a new bass player – Heinz – and coerced me into playing the drum kit once more on the high seas. We had only six weeks to rehearse before we set sail once more. And rehearse we did, day and night, until finally ‘The In-Group” Mach II embarked yet again from Sydney en route to our first port of call – Honiara, Guadalcanal in the Solomon Islands.

The usual heinous bouts of sea-sickness overcame me again. Although this time I didn’t disgrace myself at the dinner table and the recovery time was much quicker. We had other more serious difficulties to overcome. The most pressing problem was the organ and speaker. Again we were obliged to play at different locations about the ship, and the constant moving/removing of equipment was double the problem as we struggled to negotiate the organ and speaker through the bulkhead portals. The even bigger problem was that a mere six week’s rehearsal could not disguise the fact that we had a dreadful sound; it is possibly the worst band I have ever played in! Every night I felt sick – not from motion sickness but from extreme embarrassment. I felt sure that at any given moment, an outraged music fan would have us thrown in the brig as impostors or perhaps made to ‘walk the plank’. However, much to my amazement and eternal relief, nobody seemed to notice or to care! It really does say a lot about the tolerance and taste of the great Australian public. It really is a game.

In a state of shock, I went ashore at Honiara, anxious to clear my head of the toxic sound of the band and to get away from the smell of cigarettes surrounding Heinz – the new bass player. Heinz chain-smoked and regrettably, we shared a cabin. Every night, after the gig was finished, Heinz (who was born in Cologne) would haunt the bars and return in the wee small hours; boozed, broke, smoky and ready for a song. He would serenade me for hours, playing old German folk songs on his acoustic guitar – especially Wooden Heart – made famous by Elvis Presley. As a result, I can still remember the middle chorus and sing it in appalling German…if pushed! Anyhow, I left the ship and took the launch over to the wharf and almost immediately, regretted it. It was so hot! The temperature must have been 40 degrees plus, with humidity at 100%. At 9am in the morning, the sun was directly overhead so your shadow was simply an oval blob. A young native lad offered to show me the sights. This was a bit disconcerting, because he also carried a rather lethal looking machete. Anyway after a perfunctory look around the town, I slung my guide, who grinned like a Cheshire cat, a few coins and retreated to the air-conditioned comfort of the Oriana on the next available launch.

The next day, John, Merrin and I took a joy-flight in a small plane over Iron Bottom Sound: a body of water, so named, where thousands of tons of Allied and Japanese ships were sunk during World War 2. The waters are crystal clear and the many hulls can be seen quite clearly. It was a sombre moment and perhaps an omen of events to come.

During the rest of the voyage, we also made ports of call again at Suva in Fiji and at Vanuatu which was known then as the New Hebrides. However the fun had gone out of things. As the days passed, the standard of In-Group Mach II’s musical proficiency did not improve; my depression deepened and Heinz seemed to increase his consumption of duty-free cigarettes. On our way home as we crossed ‘the ditch’, we were due to play at a big ‘knees-up’ in the ballroom for a load of VFL testosterone-fired football players on board from Melbourne for their after season celebration. Apart from Merrin, there was barely another ‘real’ woman in sight. All the ‘footies’ dressed up in island gear as hula girls, complete with lipstick, grass skirts, bras, bikinis, falsies, wigs and floral leis. They like to refer to their football code as ‘the game’. But a more terrifying game was about to explode.

We tried our best to play to play some ‘native rhythms’ and for some inexplicable reason, we again launched into Running Bear. That tune appeared to be the catalyst for some deep-seated tensions to be brought to the surface. A punch was thrown and before we knew it, the whole room exploded into a gigantic fistfight; not unlike the bar-room brawls so beloved from Hollywood westerns. Bodies flew over tables; chairs were thrown; bottles and glasses were smashed and gradually the floor became awash with beer, blood, food and teeth. Leis, grass skirts and bikinis were ripped asunder as the battle raged. Amid the melee, we gingerly removed our gear and beat a hasty retreat. Some officers and crew tried to restore order but they were no match for the brawny and beer-soaked ‘footies’. They had no choice than to let it run its course. The next day, I happened across one of the main protagonists who declared that ‘It was the best night of the cruise and youse guys was grouse’. It’s all a game and there’s no accounting for taste.

However it was game set and match for me; the dream was abandoned. So shortly after we returned to Sydney, I quit the band – for the moment. But ‘The In-Group wasn’t quite finished with me just yet and that’s another story…

Were you ever in a band? What was the name and what role did you play? Tell us in the comments below…