Five practical ways you can help a friend with cancer

I had a surreal moment last week. I had been reading beautiful cancer survival stories on Daffodil Day – some brought a tear to my eye and some made me realise just how lucky we are to have the lives we do.

But my thankful thoughts were suddenly interrupted when the phone rang. It was a good friend of mine who I had seen just hours earlier when we went for a morning coffee. She sounded panicked and a little rushed, and the pit in my stomach started to grow.

She had just been told that another of our friends, Norma, had just found out she had stage two bowel cancer. I was shaken to the core. Norma was 63, a beautiful, happy and healthy single woman living alone in the family home she had been in for 30 years. Her children had all grown up and her marriage had fallen apart a decade ago.

I couldn’t help but fret about just how alone Norma must feel. I wanted to help, I wanted to phone her and tell her that everything will be okay… I had read a news article on a possible cure for several types of cancers just days ago, surely that would cheer her up. I sat with my hand on the phone, ready to dial in her number when something stopped me.

Norma wasn’t the kind of woman who wanted emotional fuss. She wouldn’t want my pity and well wishes, she wouldn’t want to know about the illusive cancer cure that we had been waiting on for ages. She would want her friends to support her in the way that matters ­– in the way that will actually help her to deal with this practically.

So I began searching online and found thousands of ways I could commit to helping out my dear friend. It has become apparent that every single Australian will have their life touched by cancer in one way or another, so I thought that this advice could be useful for someone else too.

Five practical ways to help a friend with cancer

Help with shopping. Something as small as shopping can be so difficult when you’re drained, tired and generally unwell. Don’t only volunteer to do the shopping, offer to take them. Sometimes a day out doing something they would do regardless of illness is all they need to be happy so always give them the option. Help them with grocery shopping and special occasion shopping.

Drive them to appointments. The medical appointments begin to stack up as anyone who has lived with cancer will know. If you’re alone, this can be one of the hardest parts of dealing with everything, is not having the human support at the most difficult times. Take them for lunch or a coffee after appointments too and it might brighten their outlook.

Call a few times a week and just check up on them. Patients can suffer from isolation and sadness by not having anyone to talk to about their fears and feelings. Let them know you are there for them and they’ll feel more comfortable and more supported.

Assist with household duties. Help them out with things like managing their mail, their bills, their appointments and their calendar. Just offering to do tasks like posting letters, setting them up with online bill payments or driving them to events you are both attending can be a huge help. Even offering to do the vacuuming or clean the bathroom and changing sheets can be a help to those who are feeling weak.

Help to keep the fun in their life. Take them to the movies and out to dinner if it makes them happy. Keep doing the little things that uplift them and help to maintain the feeling of “normal” through their life.

How have you helped your friends and family when they were struggling? Or, if you have battled cancer before, what were the most helpful things done for you? Tell us in the comments…