The craziest place you can drink a Fosters is… [Rogue Nomads]

When we see a “blackening”, catch up with some friends stopping off on a cruise, and see stone circles predating Stonehenge by 2000 years!

Rain rattled on the roof of the caravan all night. But the date was 21st June – summer solstice, St Magnus Festival, and we were due to meet friends arriving on the Black Watch cruise ship, which docked at 8:00am.

Kirkwall “comes alive” on this day: St. Magnus Festival is a festival of music, arts, plays, street theatre. So we got into the town early, so that we would get a parking spot! Just 8am. Deserted.

There were two luminous jacket-clad girls ready for the cruise passengers giving out information, so we chatted to them and told them we were meeting friends off the ship, but we needed breakfast. They said nowhere is open this early in Kirkwall! We walked on, ever hopeful of a feed, and asked a man cleaning his shop front where there was a decent cafe. He said to keep walking and we did eventually find a cafe. Great breakfast…two eggs, bacon, sausages, mushrooms, tomatoes, black pudding, toast and a pot of tea for £13. And just as it was being served our friends walked in! The information girls had told them we went thataway! The only way they could have known they were looking for us was the Australian accents, as there was no mobile reception.

It was bitter cold so we stayed in the cafe chewing the fat for a good long time, then headed off to check out St. Magnus Cathedral (well worth the visit), which was founded in 1137 and completed in the 14th century. Kirkwall was supposed to be buzzing by this time, but we didn’t see anything different except some street music here and there. 800 people on that ship, and we figured most stayed on the ship, as soon as they saw the weather.

Apparently on 4th July three ships are coming in, total 9000 people! Now that’ll be a logistical nightmare!

After a visit to a craft show, and the museum, we had fish ‘n’ chips and then said our farewells to our friends, who were probably very glad to get back on board and warm again.

We drove back to the caravan, only to find that I had left my glasses in the museum! So we went back, picked them up and were heading out again when we saw this group of young men sitting in the back of a tray truck, very dirty, driving around, making a huge noise. We decided to watch and follow and they ended up strapping one of the group around a lamppost using cling film and covering his head with a beer carton. He was a right mess with sticky hair and a blackened face. All his “mates” were in old clothes or overalls and didn’t look much better. He escaped and they chased him and did it again.

We asked what it was about and one of the lads said, “it’s a blackening… he’s getting married”.

Well, I had to find out more! I looked up on www.orkneyjar.com and found that the wedding blackening is still common practice on the islands.

“The Blackening is a fairly rough ceremony in which the groom-to-be is waylaid by his friends. He is stripped (winter and summer!), bound and “blackened” using a messy mixture that usually contains treacle, flour and feathers. The unfortunate groom is then paraded around on the back of a truck, while his comrades make as much noise as possible by blowing whistles, shouting, beating sticks, banging drums and generally creating a din with anything they can lay their hands on”.

It is considered an “accepted breach of the peace.”

No one really knows the origin of the tradition, maybe it’s to keep evil spirits, or “fairy folk” away.  Maybe the noise is to attract as many people as possible to see the grooms dilemma. But it seems that the main purpose now is to make the groom as dirty and drunk as possible! And what were they pouring down his throat? Fosters!

That night the sun set at 11:30pm, and rose at 3:30am!

Decided, after a day of heavy rain when we didn’t venture out, that we’d ignore the rain and take a drive to the north west of the main island (which the locals call mainland). Then went to the Standing Stones of Stenness. It was late in the day so we had the place to ourselves. Wandering round, touching the stones, originally 12 stones, but now only 4, dated from 3000BC. A short distance away is the Ring of Brodgar, a hugely impressive henge monument, 100 yards diameter, with 27 of the original 60 stones still standing. It was rather nice wandering around these stones calmly late in the day, with no coach parties around.

We just had time to drive to Maes Howe, arguably (so the guide book says) the finest Neolithic burial chamber in Europe. Built around 2750BC, apparently the Vikings got there before us and left behind some runic graffiti, along the lines of “Thorfinn was ‘ere”. Although we knew we had to book a slot to see the interior, we thought we might just buy a guide book. Unfortunately the man at the “help” desk was so rude and abrupt we decided we’d give the place a miss. We can understand that a booking has to be made, space is very limited inside, but he said they were fully booked for the next three days, when people we met said they got in that very evening without booking. Anyway, as you know, I don’t care for enclosed spaces so I didn’t lose any sleep over it.

But that isn’t all… There’s still more to come!

Have you had a local Aussie beer in an interesting place? Tell us where you were in the comments below…