Is the fi-fo lifestyle tearing families apart?

On Sunday I sat down to read the paper and was greeted with some very grim stories. There was the devastation in Gaza, the Ukrainian and Russian conflict, another hanging in India and then there was something that hit a lot closer to home.

It was the first anniversary of a 25-year-old fly-in-fly-out worker’s suicide while on site in the Pilbara. He was a father of one and he struggled with depression… Why? Because he had family and he was far away from them, because he was committed to his partner who was the mother of his son but single guys on site didn’t respect that and because with so much time and so few activities, the boredom lead to thinking and the thinking became negative.

And the saddest part is that Rhys Connor, the eternal 25-year-old man, was not alone in the struggle.

When I was growing up, a man took his family wherever he went. When Dad got a job out west, we left Brisbane where we were living, packed up everything including the dog and moved with him so a small rural town in the middle of Queensland. My bothers and I went to the local school and life was great.

The family unit has always stayed together. It has scarcely been the norm for a family to separate and live in different places. Husbands and wives were rarely apart when I was growing up and the family dinner happened every night. We went around the table and discussed what we had done that day so we always had that family connection.

But, the fly-in fly-out lifestyle has changed everything for the family unit. In 2012, Western Australia Today said there were over 50,000 fly-in fly-out workers employed on that basis. In the same year, a federal inquiry was conducted in the area and found that the fly-in fly-out lifestyle could lead to increases in substance abuse, sexually transmitted infections and mental illnesses, painting a very grim picture on what the lives of fly-in fly-out employees entail.

Australia’s societal appreciation for the ever changing modern family including same-sex couples as well as older parents and younger parents has made sense, because let’s face it, there are no health dangers in embracing that family structure. But, I’m afraid I can’t force myself to embrace a fly-in fly-out lifestyle when the evidence is clear that it isn’t healthy.

And that doesn’t just go for the men and women who take up that form of employment. It’s their families. We have family friends who are in there 40s with two high-school aged children. The father is an engineer for one of the large international mining companies and regularly does six-month periods of the fly-in fly-out lifestyle.

It has been eye opening to see the way the family has changed when he is away. The mother has (understandably) become the disciplinarian in the home, setting the boundaries for the kids on her own when her husband is not there. And this has created a difficult relationship between their eldest daughter and her as she resists her authority and outwardly and publicly favours her father over the mother. Conversely, the younger brother is at a time in his life when a father figure is incredibly important. And, he has at times struggled without his Dad’s presence and influence in academics and his decision-making.

This is only one instance and I have only witnessed this from the peripheral, but it is highly likely that these cases are the norm for families living with fly-in fly-out workers.

In the Australian in 2012, Rio Tinto a mining company with a strong fly-in fly-out workforce put the responsibility on the government to have higher commitment to the fly-in fly-out workforce calling for more infrastructure and resources around mining communities so their families can move and enjoy a traditional family lifestyle. And, as a company that paid A$5billion in corporate tax and A$2billion in state royalties the year prior, they make a good point.

But, how do we fix this cycle. Has our work-driven society, empowered on the mining boom created a breakdown in the family unit that is more damaging than anything before?

When 25-year-old men with their whole lives ahead of them feel more comfortable leaving their families behind than existing in this lifestyle, it proves that there is a huge problem.

But what do you think?  Have we allowed the family structure to change so much that it’s dangerous for our health and wellbeing? How do we fix the issue? Is it the government’s responsibility or our own? Share your thoughts in the comments below…